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conflicts of reality and dream world, conflicts of democracy and dictation in China and world at large. conflicts of seen and invisible.

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dear God, isn't today a special day? I decided to reblog my life on my website. yesterday I tried to persuade my son to restore his computers to working status, for that I had visited his house when he schooling with 2 bootable installation udisks for windows and linux. but he refused again, recently he more frequently disrespects me, seemingly he enrolled by prodigy high school locally boost his pomposity, while my recent ailment, ie. painful fingers and wrest, disappointed him.

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dreamt at my hometown in my summer campus vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizza hut. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad's role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop run by 2nd son of village's CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership,

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dreamt tutoring a kid playing game, in which there is a scene of lofty gate, player has to climb up to get reward to continue the game. later dreamt of math exam, on which I always reluctant to touch while my son seemingly excels in dream. its a pale morning. after a busy week preparing migrate my work space from acer chromebook to dell chromebook, this week I mostly resting.

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First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we passed a relatives’ village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so far.


benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly... 鸠昱隆嘉 | blog.benzrad.us

October 29 2020

a determined mind. 盲言之芒岩 眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼 under God's shine after i broke heart for a girl collegian, devoted to reclaim my vested kingdom of China from my ancestor with glory. 你在清贫中呆的太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星 http://www.be21zh.org http://blog.benzrad.us http://bbs.zhuson.com http://co.faezrland.co http://m.zhone.mobi https://agarten.in http://t.dabbog.com http://zho.io
  • homed partially, on web.

    Oct 12, 2020

    the chilly dorm let my fingers swollen again, but God's mercy, my body just workable for daily life, even more time & pains covering chores, like put up, mopping floor, etc. recently I equipped myself 2 small laptop blankets, which effective warms up my knees. previously I bought a full size...
  • resumed my blogging ahead of commitment of new family plan.
    dear God, isn't today a special day? I decided to reblog my life on my website. yesterday I tried to persuade my son to restore his computers to working status, for that I had visited his house when he schooling with 2 bootable installation udisks for windows and linux. but he refused again, recently he more...
  • even in dark winter and dry northeastern China, bliss no less upon US.

    Dec 15, 2018

    dreamt my passed mom rescue my education again. she visited my enhancement class and entrusted me not gave up. my sinful cousin, ie first grandson of my grandpa, also appeared among parents of high education seekers. my mother prayed for my higher education so hard that I touched and started...